Reflections of Sean Cater
The story goes that we met on E. 84th St. when we were 2, but all I know is that Sean was my first friend. I don’t know how we became so close, but we did. His mother was my mother. My father was his father. Granny Annie and Granny Johnnie Mae gave both of us the same love and the same painful punishment. Our typical day was we’d play. Then we’d fight. After the fight, we would put our devious minds together and do something fun like eat all of the Flintstone vitamins, or put the open Vaseline jar by Candace. We found it fascinating that Vaseline was her favorite snack. And I can’t forget our favorite activity, stuffing our friend Leonard in the lion head garbage can in the bathroom. Poor fellow, but someone had to bear the wrath of Sean&Michael. We were unleashed to the world in 1973. The world was not ready. Pirie School had never seen a combination like Sean&Michael and never will. We drove our Kindergarten teacher crazy. Not only because we caused trouble, but because we were smart. All of our grades were excellent except, of course, conduct. We planned our adventures and took pleasure in getting caught. Everything was perfect in Sean&Michael’s world until he moved. Suddenly there was no Sean&Michael, only Sean, only Michael. But remember what I said earlier that his family was my family and my family was his family. So what our families did is what they now call joint custody. One weekend I’m with the Cater’s. The next weekend, Sean is with the Denne’s. For the next 10 to12 years we did this. Sean&Michael grew. Sean faced a lot of new things, but since we were one, I feel I faced them also. John Jr. came along. John Sr. left. Reese came. And with Reese, a bunch of girls showed up also. This was rough. But through the love that Gloria and Reese shared, everyone, including me, came out of this with a bigger family. We went to high school and off to college, but remarkably, there was still Sean&Michael. We were still close, not as close as before, but still together. One morning in the fall of 1989, I received news that I wouldn’t believe. Sean was gone. I didn’t believe it, but it was true. How did this happen? Why did it happen? What will become of Sean&Michael? Some of these questions I still don’t have answers to and may never have answers to. Today, I don’t show my face much around the Cater/Randolph household. I still don’t know how to deal with the whole situation. But I know that Gloria is still my mother. John Sr. is still my father. Candace is still my sister. John Jr. is still my brother. And Sean, even though he is gone, Sean and I are and forever will be Sean&Michael. |
| REFLECTIONS OF SEAN ANTHONY CATER by MICHAEL DENNE What can I say about him? To tell his story, I’d almost have to tell my story because from the age of 2, there was no such thing as Sean Cater. There was no such thing as Michael Denne. There was only Sean&Michael. We did everything together, a lot I remember, some I only heard about. But I will try to share some of the moments that we had, with you. |
| Sean taught me how to be a more caring family member through his demonstration of love to everyone in our family. He was eager to share the conversations he had with his grandparents. The wisdom he gained from talking with them was obvious. Sean not only endeared himself to family, but his warm, friendly manner endeared him to others as well. As I reminisce, I remember the times when Sean and I would go for a ride on my motorcycle. He would pretend that he was racing by making the appropriate sounds with his mouth. After a while, he would rest his head on my chest, letting me know that he trusted me to keep him safe for the duration of the ride. My interaction with my son, Sean, made loving and providing for my family the most important thing in my life. At an early age, Sean became my traveling partner on road trips to my hometown Atlanta, Georgia. He was a baby when he and I first began taking trips, by car, to Atlanta. It was on those trips that I learned how to change diapers, feed him, talk daddy talk to him, and spend the most precious of times with him. The time that I spent with him during the early stages of his life, have given me comforting moments of reflections since his death. Moving from infancy to adolescence, I also remember Sean as a student athlete at Mendel Prep High School. I would enjoy attending his games to cheer him on. It has been seventeen years since my son’s untimely death. There are many times when I think of him as a husband, a father, and a friend. I think about him interacting with his kids as he and I did. If I was to reminisce further, and had more pages available to write about my memories of our father/son relationship (which wasn’t always easy), they would include many more of the life lessons that I learned from being with Sean for twenty-one years. We were blessed to have him in our lives and he still lives in me everyday. |
| “LIFE LESSONS FROM MY SON” by JOHN CATER, SR. Sean was my first of four children and first son of three. He was so special to me. In many ways my son, Sean, helped me to become a better person by helping me to develop my character as a father and husband. He helped me develop patience as I sat watching him at the little league sports activities that we enrolled him in when we moved to Hazel Crest. He had such a natural ability when it came to participating in sports, but he would always say, “Dad, show me how to do better.” You see, he always wanted to be the best at whatever he did. |
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